i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
