If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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