it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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