I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
