i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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