I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
