somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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