The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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