Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
