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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
two words: eviction party
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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