Where are you?
In a non slutty way
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
