Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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