it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
