So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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