I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
