Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
