I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
