I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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