no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
