do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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