We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I touched a dick in church today
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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