I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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