no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
