the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
