TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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