sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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