As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
