we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
