I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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