So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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