We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
