Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
