Your tits are I can't wait for
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
