Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
