i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
