At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
