Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm really busy with my period
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