is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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