It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
