I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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