Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
