There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
