ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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