So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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