love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
