Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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