So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
