Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
