I'm going to jail i love you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
