My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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