What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
