so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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