i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize