Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
