Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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