she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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