how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
