the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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