i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
