I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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