I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
